


Wanna Bet?

by a_side_of_sin



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: F/M, Voyeurism, concert fucking, rick is such a slut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:36:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_side_of_sin/pseuds/a_side_of_sin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squanchy likes to bet on Rick’s sex life. Rick gets super kinky. Everybody sins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanna Bet?

It starts off with Squanchy betting Rick that he can’t take home the one purple chick from the audience with the mohawk and three eyes. Rick rolls his eyes, and tells Squanchy to go fuck himself. “Nah, bro, go squanch  _her_...” Well, Rick has always loved a challenge, so later that night when he’s pounding the girl into the mattress, he makes sure to pound on the wall, too, to make sure Squanchy is listening in. 

A few weeks later, they’re sitting at the bar before the show, and Rick has been eyeballing a couple of women from Gazorpazorp. Squanchy follows his line of sight and laughs out loud. “Rick, you’re fucking squanched, there’s no way those squanches are gonna be into it. They hate everything with a dick.” Rick looks over at Squanchy, sticks his hand out to shake on what he has interpreted as a bet, and gives him a wink that suggests pure filth. Then he puts his “serious artist face” on and saunters over to the two Amazons. Around 4:00 in the morning, Squanchy gets a text: “The arms aren’t the only parts they have extras of ;)”

Six concerts and twelve lightyears later, Rick has been eyeballing a group of girls, and he turns to Squanchy and goes, “Wanna bet on it?” There have to be half a dozen of them huddled together near the bar, and Squanchy thinks he’s got this one in the bag. “Sure Rick, you mothersquancher. But you only win if you take home all six... and only if it’s at the same time.” Rick looks like he’s salivating. “You’re on.” Squanchy gets a picture this time - a selfie of Rick from the waist up with six naked girls lounging on the hotel bed behind him, and two of them are making out with each other. Squanchy sighs. 

“Squannncchhhyyyyyy...... Squanchy, I’m borreeddddd.” Rick is lounging around on the couch a few months later, already wasted even though they have a show in two hours. “Squanchy, let’s bet on somethinggggg...” Rick is almost whining. “Man, squanch that, Rick, you always win. I not only have to hear about you getting squanched, but I lose money, booze or drugs, every single time. I’m out, bro.” Squanchy throws a wadded up grease rag from their tour bus at Rick’s head, then reaches for the nearest bottle of booze. “So come up with something really, really challenging.” Rick grins at him. 

The scraggly cat pauses to think, and then smirks. “All right, squanchhole. You gotta squanch a chick... on stage, in the middle of the show. Tonight. And you can’t miss a single note.” Rick sucks in a breath, then lets it out slowly. “Nah, Squanchy, I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.” Squanchy snickers at him. “I thought nothing was impossible for Rick squanching Sanchez?” He wanders out of the green room, absolutely certain he’s won this one. He leaves Rick sprawled out, deep in thought.

Five hours later, there are two songs left in the set, and Squanchy is thinking about what he’s going to take from Rick. He’s got this one in the bag. But before he plays the opening riff for the second-to-last song, Rick grabs the mic. “WHAT’S UP MOTHERFUCKERS?!? So listen, we’re almost done, but I figured I’d give you a REAL finale. See, Squanchy here,” he gestures over to the feline drummer, and then winks out at the crowd, “was dumb enough to bet me that I couldn’t fuck one of you on stage. Clearly, he doesn’t know me very well. So. Let me introduce you all to Rulaj!”

A girl leaps up onto the stage from the front row. She’s got this neon pink skin, with short black spiky hair, and a GREAT rack. Squanchy almost wonders if this is a bit, the chick is too hot. Maybe she’s a prostitute? But no, that can’t be it. Rick had to bum his K-lax off of Squanchy this week, there’s no way he had enough for a hooker, much less a hooker that would let him get away with  _this_. So this girl has to actually be in to it... 

Squanchy figures he’s got to throw Rick off his groove. At this point, the only way he can save it is if Rick fucks up while he’s playing. He sees that Birdperson’s got the mic in his hand, so he starts the count-in for the song, thinking maybe, just maybe, he can catch Rick off guard. But as Birdperson jumps on the vocals, Rick starts playing, not missing a note, while the girl wraps herself seductively around him and starts sucking on his ear. 

Rick’s rocking out and the girl is playing with his nipples, and Squanchy can’t decide if he’s pissed off or turned on. He can see the girl run her hand down his sides and slip at least one of them under the hem of Rick’s jeans. He watches her arm moving up and down, and the crowd is shrieking, they’re so hot for it. The girl, Rulaj, takes a step back from Rick and moves in front of him, and Squanchy thinks, ‘ _This is it, she’ll accidentally get in the way of the guitar, he’s bound to miss a note._ ’ 

The last thing she does before she drops to her knees is blow a kiss over Rick’s shoulder, straight at Squanchy. Then she’s on the floor, and Rick is lifting the guitar up over her head, and she’s shifting his pants down around his ass. Squanchy can see his cheeks peeking out from over the top of the jeans, and can only imagine the view from the front. He falters a bit on the rhythm, but picks it back up, determined not to let Rick just have this one. Birdperson has apparently decided to pretend this isn’t happening, and ends the song with his usual flourish. 

Squanchy only waits about three seconds before launching into the finale, figuring he can at least manage to give Rick blue balls if the song finishes before he does. It’s about all he’s got left at this point. A collective moan ripples through the crowd when Rick maneuvers the girl so their sides are facing out, and Squanchy can see every detail as the girl pulls off of his dick and taps it a few times on her lower lip. Rick doesn’t have any vocals on this song, but he makes a point of leaning in to the mic anyway. Squanchy’s pretty sure he’s not even trying to harmonize, he’s just groaning for the crowd. 

The girl gives him a soft shove, and Rick takes the cue. He lays on the ground, and somehow he’s still playing, even though he’s flat on his back and the girl is positioning herself over him, and Squanchy realizes he’s holding his breath. Then the timing with the song syncs up with Rick’s filthy little show, there’s a fermata over a rest ( _fucking Birdperson with his classical music squanches_ ), and the whole crowd can hear her shaky exhale as Rulaj sinks down onto Rick’s cock. Squanchy queues Birdperson back in, but it’s too late, the crowd is  _silent_. Rick isn’t about to let Squanchy win on a technicality, though, not with how competitive he is, so he picks back up playing at the same time that Birdperson resumes the vocals. 

There’s a verse and a half left now, and the song crescendos, and picks up tempo, and Rulaj is rocking back onto Rick’s cock. There’s a hum running through the crowd, and Squanchy is just as close to losing it as every member of the audience. Four bars left, three, two... Rick pushes Rulaj back, leaps to his feet like a squanching gymnast, plays the last bar and then comes all over the girl’s face. 

Zipping his pants up, Rick grabs the mic again and leers out at the stunned crowd. “We are The Flesh Curtains... and Rulaj... and that’s the end of our show!!! See you next week, you pieces of shit!!!” Squanchy can only watch as Rulaj drags Rick off the stage, and wonder how long he’ll have to wait before the crowd thins out to be able to go and change his pants...

 


End file.
